mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
