all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
