It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
