"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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