i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
