apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
