...so i touched it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
