You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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