if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
