I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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