so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
