Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
