Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
