i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How does one acquire holy water?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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