Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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