woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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