He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
