We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
