mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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