He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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