Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize