So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
