I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
