no, he came in my armpit
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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