she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
