My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
