i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
