Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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(214): View more from Texas

Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

(501): View more from Arkansas

3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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(239): View more from Florida

At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit

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(712): View more from Iowa

Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.

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