when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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