She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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