So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
