It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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