i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
