I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
