I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Mom said you looked used
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
