glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
