don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
