"it" just moved
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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