Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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