I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
