Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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