I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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