You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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