in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Your cock deserves a montage
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
