idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
