I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
try to milk me bitch
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