so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
