no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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