People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
