No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
