I'm gonna have a badass scar
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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