I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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